Healing Highly Sensitive Empaths Gut from Narcissistic Abuse with Human Design and a Plan

26. How highly sensitive empaths can live empowered with Human design

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a trauma informed spiritual mentor, certified meditation teacher, and human design expert. I'm empowering empaths three times a week in recovery and healing from narcissistic abuse, childhood trauma through human design, self-care, mindfulness advice, and expert interviews. This is season five

Episode 26, how highly sensitive impasse can live empowered . Through human design You are more than enough right now and. Gosh, just being yourself leaning into who you are in this moment is such a gift to the world. You've been given such amazing talents and special, special abilities,

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Maybe some childhood traumas or conditioning. And to help you reclaim the control back over your life. Through our discussion also about human design, . .

Jessie Michelle Adani is a natural sensitive guide and a restorative healer sensitive from birth. Jessie spent much of her life feeling different and out of place in the world. Her body struggled to handle the common human experience and she was often told she was too much. That's her manifestor energy.

She repressed her sensitive nature to fit in and it quickly manifest. Into physical illness over the past 15 years, Jessie dove deep into the healing world and slowly began to rebuild her body. It wasn't until she discovered Dr. Elaine Aaron's work on sensory processing sensitivity, that she began to understand her unique self.

rated her healing journey. In: 2018

What I just said, 62 is her profile, . So that's a role model hermit, which is just like, Emotional is her inner authority. So she needs to wait her entire cycle to make the right decision. And manifestor is her type. , she is to wait for inspiration and just do it. And her incarnation cross is like her major life theme and is where you can find your purpose.

So for her, her incarnation cross is healing and she. Dove deep into understanding that her path is here to help others heal their body, healing her body, and then being a role model to guide others into healing their body. She opened up a practice called MeFleur Wellness, where she now teaches sensitives how to rebuild their calm and resiliency to create sustainable health.

. She deeply believes that if all sensitives live in alignment with their sensitivity, the world will be as much more beautiful and peaceful place. Her purpose is to help sensitives cultivate success without succumbing to the constant overwhelm, anxiety, depression, autoimmunity, or any other body imbalance that could prevent them from having the impact that they are.

To have in this world. And so without further ado, let's dive into this enthralling conversation.

Hello. Welcome to the podcast, Jesse.

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Like what is making us feel stuck and repressing our emotions?

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So I wanna acknowledge that every empath and every sensitive is unique, right? We all experience our sensitivity and our ability to step into other people's experiences differently. So I can only speak from my personal experience and then I've also had the honor of working with sensitives, over the last four years.

So, , A lot of clinical data as well, but what I've seen time and time again, Is this experience of massive rejection for us just being us. And of course that starts when we're just kiddos, right? When we're, honestly, I could even say as infants when we're trying to express our needs and our parents are like, , they don't know any different, they weren't trained in any of this sweet souls.

They had no idea what was happening. All the parents that were not sensitive and then were blessed with a sensitive child, it's like, holy cow.

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Process and express and experience our emotions. And so if during that time period we were taught that how we naturally felt about something was wrong or false or too much, that's how we interpreted it. And so I think I've seen, and especially I've seen this in myself, that right away we as sensitives lose trust in ourselves.

And so any emotion that comes forward, we don't believe. and we quickly shove it down because we're like, we've been told this isn't. Because if, if I'm feeling scared by watching a movie and everyone else like, this isn't scary, you're a baby. Or like, I'm feeling, really overwhelmed by just going to the grocery store by all the information I'm taking in, right?

All of the data, all of the people and all of their emotions that I'm picking up on. Because as a child, you don't have any boundaries. You don't know unless you're taught, , by very, very, like, Adult, which is so rare. And so you're just, , drowning in that. And so maybe you have, it looks like a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, and that's every parent's nightmare, right?

So they're trying to like quiet you down and like just be quiet, , like, here, take this, this. And so you're taught that it's not okay that what you're feeling is not normal. And so, like I said, you, you start to lose trust and so you have to. Say, I'm in that grocery store and I feel overwhelmed, but everyone else around me looks calm.

So then I have to go, okay, I have to become calm. So what do I do with these emotions? I'm gonna shove 'em. And this is kind of an energetic thing, but I think some of us. , , might have a hard time processing, but it literally goes into our organs, , and, and I should say there's part of our brain too, the amygdala that stores it, right?

And then it literally translates into being stored into certain organ systems. And that's something I, I love talking about. But, my little health nerd is peeking right now, is peeking up.

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And before she answers that question, let's go to a quick, Quick commercial. break. Yeah. , so I think the biggest one for us is anger. Because they're deep down underneath feeling misunderstood.

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And we become, typically, we're the good child because we're just trying to fit in and not be rejected.

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But in the back of my head I'm like, I know why I didn't wanna get in trouble. I didn't wanna be rejected. I didn't want to like

have the,

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Label, , you can use it or not, but if you align with those traits, it's the sensory processing sensitivity trait that is something you're born with. I always like to differentiate between that and what I call developed sensitivity. Have you talked about that on

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So don't ever let someone label you or reject a label for you, like you get to decide this, right? But. A highly sensitive person is Dr. Elaine Erin. She's the originator of that, that label. Would describe and how, what I would call a natural sensitive cause I like that term a little better, is someone that literally comes into the world, like in their mother's womb.

They have developed this sensory processing sensitivity trait. It is not something that you can get rid of. It's not something that you can gain later. It is something you are born with. It's innate, okay? So when you come into the world right off the bat, you are processing information differently. And that's literally what it is.

It's not it's not like on the autism scale or spectrum, which I think a lot of people get confused on that too, cuz of the terminology. But what it means is that you simply take in a lot more information. There's more nuance to it. The basic general takeaway, so when I walk into a room, I'm a natural sensitive, I am picking up on all sorts of layers of things.

I'm picking up on the energy of the room, the emotion of all the people standing around me. The, the colors are more vibrant. I have a crazy sense of smell, like there's just a lot there. I always describe it as I enter into like a 40 3d, or excuse me, 40 fived, whereas most people are at the 3d, right? And that doesn't make me better.

This is just my unique skillset. Everyone else has their unique skillset, and we all are meant to come and bring our skillsets to create a beautiful, robust world. But my unique skillset, or anyone else that is natural sensitive, their unique skillset is that ability to pick up on a lot of detail and information and then to process it really fast.

So that is an innate gifting. There's something called, , in our world, especially in the health world, sensitivity is a word that's used often. So this is why I've had to really get nitty gritty about the differences because I work in, , the health world. So when we hear things like food sensitivities or, you're sensitive to smell or you're emotionally sensitive, like.

That doesn't necessarily mean that you're a natural sensitive, because anyone can gain those type of developed sensitivities because those can be based off of health imbalances. So, anyone can get a congested liver and then be very, very attuned to certain smells, but as soon as they clear their liver, their smell capacity drops.

Not in a bad way, but it's not as heightened. It's not hyper. It's not hyperactive. Where, let me give you another example. So the other side would be,

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Side. But once you heal your trauma, once you do some beautiful therapy, like E M D R work or , brain spotting or anything, there's so many great modalities out there now, right? You might lose that where you're like, oh, I'm not as like hypervigilant. I'm not as hyperactive. I'm not hyper responding to that anymore.

That means that it was a developed sensitivity. Right? And you, you actually do wanna clear that that's important.

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That's a really easy way to kind of figure it out. And one of the things I've noticed is most sensitive children are typically, labeled as colic. So if you had a lot of colic as a

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if you, if you were constantly, I'm, , I'm talking about, I'm, I grew up in the 80, like the late eighties, so they gave how doctors dealt with sensitive childs back then children.

Back then it was like a lot of antibiotics. A lot of like, let them cry it out. , like, so ask your parents like, , did I cry a lot? Did you have to like, let me cry it out? Did you have to put me on antibiotics a lot? Did I just like suddenly start losing it for no reason? Did I not, was I really shy?

Like those are some things that can come forward in a highly sensitive child.

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And then I would. Meltdown because I, I couldn't hold it any longer. And then I just basically exploded.

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And I'm like, yes, mom, let me explain that that's called repression . No. She, she's amazing. But she, , they didn't know she. Stand, she's not sensitive herself. So, she didn't have that ability to step into my shoes. But yeah, that's, that's a big way to kind of differentiate the two. And, and as an adult, the beautiful thing is that we have the choice to become aware of the developed trauma and the developed sensitivities.

And I think it's part of our journey to, over the years, gently clear that that top layer. And then what's cool is you get to know your natural sensitivity. Like when I work with clients and we do, , a lot of, like I do a lot. Toxin clearing, like mycotoxin if you've been exposed to mold. I do a lot of, gut healing, like deep gut resets.

I do a lot of really deep work. Typical, right? Sensitive. We're like, we're not going shallow, we're going deep. And so clients come to me knowing they're sensitive, but once we clear some of these, Big blocks cuz like for example, your gut microbiome really dictates your mood and your perspective. And we reset that and maybe we use some, like I do nutritional brain therapy too.

So like we, we reset there on your transmitters and they're like, oh my gosh, like the world is so much brighter, I feel my capacity so much greater. Then they're like, oh wait, that that thing that I thought was my sensitivity is gone. . And I've had some people even realize like, maybe I'm not naturally sensitive cuz I actually feel really great now.

And then it's like, that's wonderful. That means you just had developed sensitivity and now you're, , you're good to go. There's no right or wrong. You don't have to be sensitive. It doesn't make you better or worse. Right. But then for my ones that, are they clear And they're like, yeah, no, I still interesting.

This sensitivity stayed where this one left. Okay. So that was a developed sensitivity where this is my natural. Authentic sensitivity cuz every sensitive's different, right? So, you may be naturally sensitive in one particular way where your friend who's also naturally sensitive, it expresses in another way, which is really cool.

So it's a fun journey, but it can be a bit murky until you kind of clear some of the layers to know who you really are.

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I started to develop all of these different allergies or Yeah, you would say sensitivities, removing all of these things from my diet. And I went to a nutritionist. She said, well, you're not eating anything. Like, all I was eating was salad . And she's like, you need to eat more. And I was like, but I can't because it was that gut, imbalance.

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Cuz the issue is that permeable lining, which the trendy term for that is leaky. Right. So your immune system just starts to react to really anything that you eat and then you can't eat anything. . People come to me like, Jess, I literally can't eat anything. I'm like, I know. Like, we're gonna, we're gonna fix that

Yeah. So I, , little tip for anyone listening, do not eliminate food from your diet without a plan to heal and seal the gut, because then you're just gonna cause more issues and it's just gonna, you're gonna end up like raven, not be able to eat anything but lettuce

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Yeah.

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I know, like keto and on fasting. And these are all really trendy right now. And I'm, I'm the one lone voice being like, don't. Do it you're sensitive. But there's, yeah, there's, there's so much about how our bodies function as sensitive. That is different. And, and not that we can't do things that others do, but we have afil.

We need to have a filter that we look through and that we go, okay, I hear that. Thank you for that information. Now I'm gonna maybe experiment with myself, but be honest about how my body's responding. And, for example, , I, I'm intermittent fasting's like huge right now, right? It's been huge for a couple years and, and especially for female sensitives, it can be really damaging to the hormones.

If you're menopausal, it's a little different. But if you're a cycling female sensitive. , it can just wreck you. But people are just like, no, I'm waiting for it to work. I'm waiting for it to work. ? Or I lost those first five, 10 pounds and then I'm gonna like stay on it. But it doesn't, it just starts depleting the body so massively.

And then the liver gallbladder, that's already overloaded because you're a sensitive, then you can't process your fats. And that's all that, . It's just, there's so much stuff that comes forward. So,

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When I left I was like, Costco hotdogs every day here I come like, just give it to me. Give it to me. Like, and I've just balanced it out now where I just eat whatever I want in moderation. I just, whatever my intuitive senses feels like I need, I eat. And I don't feel guilty about it. But that's taken like 12 years to get there.

But, , yeah.

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arrow. I don't know. Should we pull it up? Would that be helpful for people? Okay.

Let

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And that's huge because that's such a big way to know. I use that with all my clients.

There's many different forms of digestion. , some people. Need to eat in, in light bright settings. Some people need to eat actually more at night. Some people I'm, what's known as open, and so for me it's really important to eat seasonally and to eat what tastes good to me and to be very like, predictable about my food.

So diversity is actually not good for me. Everyone's a little different, so it's a really beautiful. Insight, for anyone that's trying to navigate their own health, this helps you digest your food best. So kind of regardless of what you're eating, this is gonna help you break it down, which I'm such a fan of that like you always wanna focus on digestion before you change your diet because it really, you could eat.

A paper plate or a piece of fruit . And if you're not digesting it almost doesn't matter, ? So, it's important to enhance digestion and then from there you can enhance the diet. So, yeah. But

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or he, you.

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Doesn't mean I can't. , but I'm just gonna support my body in the process of it, ? But on the whole, like, maybe like 75% of my diet is gonna be warm to hot food. So even in the summer, ,

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cream. Intuitively.

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So just everyone have hope. It's not gonna happen right away. But what is your, what is your story? Let's backtrack into that, and do you have some experience about maybe emotional suppression or narcissists in your life?

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I mean, doesn't every sensitive at this point

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But right off the. I was a surprise. And so when I came into their lives, my mom was really young. My dad was, they're both in their twenties, , which now we would consider that young back then, maybe not so much, but, but they hadn't really experienced much of life. And so I, I was their first big responsibility I would say.

And, I was a challenge to them. And so, , it's, it's been a journey because my first zero to eight years were really challenging. They had a lot of stress in their lives, and I took that on right off the bat, especially as an old soul. I really, even, I think in the womb, my parents were under a lot of stress, and they're both really, to speak human design.

They're both manifesters, which I am too. So this is super.

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Strong personality. And so when they were first married it was a bit tough and I was in the womb during that time. So I really, I think, took in a lot of that. So my parents were really strong spirits and I really absorbed that in the womb I feel. And so when I came out, I right away I was a crying baby. My parents always talked about how I would scream, like scream. And so that also was imprinted on me of my parents talking about how I was a really challenging baby, right?

So, , that's fun. But right away, like whether they meant to or not, I received the message that I was a burden, that I was too much. And so I shoved everything down. And like I said, my mom to this day would describe me as like a really happy child that had these random meltdowns and. As a young kid, I lived in constant fear of disappointing, and so I was always, always trying to be good.

, in elementary school was like I had to get the best grades. I had to be the teacher's, pets, like every adult had to adore me, and if they didn't, I was emotionally wrecked, like crying, thinking the world was coming to

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And as much as that was a beautiful experience, that I'm very obviously comfortable talking and being in front of people and stuff, the audition process really wrecked me because, My parents, I think, , there's a lot in their own lives. They had a lot of trauma. A lot of trauma themselves, and so they were very kind of critical naturally.

And so I, , again, trying to be perfect and then having criticism met, in a situation like an audition where you're being judged, I would just lose it. I'd go into what I call, sensitive stage fright. It's a term I've made up because I, , literally would lose access to anything and everything.

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Does that make sense? And it was such a challenge. I always joke that it's like, I know it's there, but I just like can't unlock the tour. And it was maddening because I, I knew I, I had it, but I couldn't access it. So that was a big part of it. And then I would immediately feel like a failure, , and all these things. So growing up it was a lot of just feeling like I wasn't enough.

I wasn't enough. And there was, , I haven't really talked about this much, but my mom and I had a really close relationship and it was unhealthy because she had a lot of trauma and, I was a sensitive that was, would do anything and everything to be loved and accepted. And so she, again, not knowing what she was doing, basically made me. and started treating me like a friend. And I took on the responsibility of my mom's life, took on the responsibility of my parents'. Marriage took on the responsibility of our family's everything. And again, my mom's not an empath. My dad's. I think is , but my mom is not. So she had no conscious awareness of my ability to absorb everything.

So I'm now, I used to be very angry at her, but now I'm at the point where I can see that she didn't have any. she just didn't know what she was doing. But I fully merged with her, is the term I use. And, there was massive codependence and I literally, like, if she was even the slightest bit sad, I was deeply sad, , I magnified her emotions and I had to fix it.

Like I, so I would perform, or I'd play music or I'd sing for her or I'd dance, or I'd tell her that something amazing happened or I'd go and do something, , or I'd, and she, of course, she loved it. Because who doesn't love someone that can feel every little bit that's off with you and can make you feel better?

And so I think we developed this kind of unhealthy, addictive relationship where, , and , I, I don't know if my mom would identify and she probably would not wanna receive the term narcissist, but I think we created that kind of relationship where,

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Like that determined my value. And so we eventually, , came apart when I was in probably like 15 when I started to drive and I started to have some independence and I started really getting to spend time with other families. She started panicking because, , she was losing me, or at least I should say, losing the old.

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If you aren't who I want you to be, then I reject you. Which she may or may not have meant to do that, but that's how I interpreted it. And so I immediately took that as like, oh, if I'm not exactly who people want me to be, they're gonna reject me. And that became a huge program that I then took forward into my adult life.

Right. And that. , case in point, people pleasing

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But, until they were like, good again. And then it was like, okay, I could relax. Right? Like it, there's just this intense, like, I must be accepted and I can't ever do anything wrong.

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And I actually have some thoughts on that because, if you're a natural sensitive, you're sensitive all across the. . And so I would say even on your human design chart, I don't know, I'm still, this is a. A concise conclusion. , this is in process, but I don't feel like I've been able to determine quite yet through human design, like where natural se sensitivity shows up because I've, I've had access to so many sensitives and it's just not clear.

But I would say for me, even though my solar plexus is defined, I'm open in my, sle. And the spleen carries a lot of emotion, specifically fear. So what I've come to realize, I've, , since learning that I've really observed, like, okay, what is it that I'm picking up from other people as an empath?

Okay, so it's not necessarily like, , , the solo plexus is general emotion. I pick up on people's fears a ton. I pick up on people's thoughts cuz my mind is open. I pick up on people's opinions cuz my and is open. I pick up on people's intensity and drive because my root is open. I pick up on, , just this like all like I'm open everywhere else basically.

So I pick up on all of that from other people. So I. two. With MPAs, we assume that it's just emotion we're picking up, but we're not. We're picking up on anything that we could step into. And so for me, I do have a little bit more of a strong. Awareness of my emotion in my authenticity. Right? Cuz human design shows you your true, authentic self in that chart.

So you're right, I do have a layer of condition or developed sensitivity based off my relationship with my mom and other people in my life that has caused that to, caused me to look like an open solar plexus. So as I clear that, , I'll be less, , attuned to that or less. It'll affect me less dramatically, but I'm still very open, specifically in the emotion of fear and then all the thoughts and opinions.

So it's interesting to kind of be able to, these are very nuanced, , observations.

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at play? Yeah. What else is open?

And then the conditioning, you can still condition a defined center. It's not like a defined. is defiant. I mean, sometimes they can be, but , not always.

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Like only you can really know you. Now what it may mean is that as you heal, you may notice that you're not as like sensitive. All the emotions. It may be like something specific like with me, like fear or you're like, gosh, I can just always tell when someone has an opinion. ? And I know what their opinion is.

Like I'm very sensitive to like getting, , easily persuaded or, I receive other people's ideas all the time and I think they're mine, but they're actually someone else's. And like, so it's, it'll show up in different ways. But I think that's a perfect example of like how our world is always trying to box us in, ?

And even. Systems. Like no system is perfect too. So use it in a way that helps you. And if you find that it's trapping you, like for me, my energy is a manifestor. And when I found that out, I was like, honestly, I was horrified. , it's like, wait, manifestors are supposed to be these like terrible people, , that's like Hitler and whatever.

But then I found out like, oh, well that's in Unhealth, , that's, but

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positive people

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And so you just can't take things and be like, oh my gosh, like. Let it ride. Learn more about the system. And again, if you don't like it and it doesn't bring forward your best self, then just dump it, , or just release the part of it that doesn't feel like it fits and, and bring in the other things.

It's, it's all meant to be helpful and not a hindrance. , we don't wanna, even the label of empath or sensitive, like if, if that's trapping you. , like let it go. And then when it feels good, you can bring it back in. Like, I play with it all the time, ? So don't feel like you have to fit into these things.

Like they're just meant to be supportive, right?

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Yeah. Put up a boundary. Doesn't matter what they are.

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Like it just doesn't matter. Like use it to help you if , especially when you're in that healing journey where I find that labels are really helpful when you need to like get out of something. Right? When you, when you're in that point of cracks where it's like, oh my gosh, I'm waking up and I'm realizing, and sometimes you get a little aggressive about it, ,

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I burned a few Bridges,

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Like in order to get out of one extreme of dependency, you have to go to the other extreme of massive independence. Right? And, and that takes sometimes a lot of rebelling. And then you eventually come into the. because I personally think the middle is where health is, right? And so you, you sometimes swing that pendulum a couple times, , and then you eventually get a little closer to the center.

And that happens for every single layer. So say you did that for one part of who you are, it doesn't mean you're not still gonna do it again for another part of who you are, right? . So it's just give grace to yourself. And I think the more awareness you have, you're like, oh, I'm being really extreme about this.

Right? . Like for me, I start to use a lot of like never and only like I use these really intense words. My husband's so sweet. He always calls me out on it. He's like, never. Huh? That never happens. I'm like, okay. Okay. Okay. But. That's when I know like, okay, I'm being extreme about this right now, ,

but it's, that's, sometimes you need that because it, especially as sensitives, we don't have a lot of self-confidence in the beginning and we need that, like our, like

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So.

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Cause then you're like, oh, okay. Oh, okay. Y that's cool. You be really into that right now and then I'll see you in six months and it'll be here, , But it's like, it's so important to not clamp down on that because if someone. . If you push back on someone that's in an extreme situation, I've found me too.

They'll just make a stronger stance and it'll take longer for them to get to balance. So just like, listen, if someone's in that extreme stance, just listen. Let 'em talk it out, let 'em verbalize because that's helping them process. And even maybe by the end of that conversation they'll have arrived at balance.

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Yes.

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GD your loins and like be like a warrior and be like, screw everybody charge. I'm getting at 'em here. And then you swing and you soften and you discover new things. And stage four and stage five is kind of, I feel like what you're describing where we're at, where it's like, call 'em what you will calm an asshole.

Doesn't matter to me. They're not in my life anymore. Or I've put up boundaries and now they don't get to do this in my life anymore.

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But you are not a better person. You don't have more value just because you're more healed. Your value stays the same from when you first came into this world to today to when you die. And so this healing work that we've been talking about, whether it's body emotional, all the things, those are bonuses, and it's really about being able to enjoy this life on this earth more wholly, more authentically. It's not about improving or enhancing your value. And I think that's really important to remember cuz it's easy to get caught up in all the spirituality and all of the, , the gut healing in all of that stuff. And to forget, because we never wanna be pursuing all of that from a place of feeling inadequate.

You are more than enough right now and. Gosh, just being yourself leaning into who you are in this moment is such a gift to the world. You've been given such amazing talents and special, special abilities, that are needed more than ever, and so healing in all of that is just allowing you to be a better. A greater impact on this world, but your value doesn't shift. You could sit on a couch and do nothing with your life and your value will stay the same. So just remember that.

That's the biggest thing.

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Or , it's, yeah, you can go to my website. I have a lot of information there. I have, my biggest thing that I've created last year was my method. It's called the Authentic com method, and it's basically what I do with one-on-one clients. Packaged up into a little system. Not a little system, a big system, but, there's three layers to it and it all that it's doing is empowering you to heal yourself and to return to who you're always meant to be.

There's a bit of human design in there. There's a lot of nutrition in there, there's a lot of, just. Body awareness and so many tools. So if you're interested in that, if you like what I've been talking about here, like everything that I am is in that

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So yeah, if you need any support, that's a great place to go.

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