How to Embrace your Empath Superpowers and Rise Up from Trauma of Narcissist

42. How to embrace your Empath superpowers through your passions and rise up out of ashes from the Narcissist

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a trauma informed spiritual mentor, certified meditation teacher, and human design expert. I'm empowering empaths three times a week in recovery and healing from narcissistic abuse, childhood trauma through human design, self-care, mindfulness advice, and expert interviews. This is season five

Episode 42. How to embrace your impath super powers through your passion.

And rise up out of the ashes from the narcissist only you there is, and that is your superpower. So I feel like, you know, if, The more we understand ourselves, the more we know ourselves, the more we can stand in that true power.

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And

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Inner power activation leader.

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Learn with her today in the episode, how to embrace and cultivate your empath nature and how to use it for personal growth and a wellbeing. So let's dive into the conversation.

Hello, Cherice. Thank you for being here.

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So yeah, it's such a lovely message.

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, was this really everything that I wanted it to be a more, you know, like, I mean, obviously watching yourself in the film after incredible, but I don't have anyone's done filming work. It's really long, so it's such a long period. Like I'm literally in about, you know, two or three seconds. I mean, the whole clip internally, uh, it itself is about, A couple of minutes, but you know, the clip of me is like three seconds and it's like, you know, that took like two weeks to film pretty much.

So don't get me wrong, it was incredible and I'm super grateful. But equally that was, I think, the turning point for me where I was like, Hmm, is dance really the only thing that I have? And that's kind of when I started delving into. More, I guess I, I've always kind of been an advocate of like doing the work and like mental health and all of that stuff, but I don't think I was aware on what level.

So I think I started really to kind of dive in a bit more from that point on. It was like a quite a, aha almost moment, I think in my life really. Then that was the start.

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Cause I was always running from job to job to job doing a thousand things. I just lived in burnout. Burnout zone was my life. It was like, are you okay? I'm just really tired guys, but this is just how I live, so it's fine. You know, like I was that person. So, yeah, so much has changed since then. I'm completely different.

But

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Yeah, getting work. But in England at the time when I graduated, it was still limited. And I think LA was always a place where I went to and felt very seen and heard. And, yeah, in terms of like, they were always so forward with the dance industry and all of that stuff that I just felt like that was where I needed to be for my career to really blossom and flourish.

But then again, you know, like with the pandemic, it was like, Ah, do I actually want this now or was it because I was, , 10 years younger? And that seemed to be the thing that I needed to do, , or that I wanted to do at that time. But, , evolution happens and, , not only do our, does our body mature, but our mind does and our thoughts and well wants, you know?

So yeah, I guess, I would say like the dance element of my life has been very much my ego, , that's always , been like , the point for me to prove myself, and, and prove people wrong. You know, like I feel like my childhood and like my upbringing was very, difficult and I feel like I had a lot of obstacles that I endured and overcame and, , proving to people that I could do this as a dancer was very much that drive.

And then when I got to the point, . , I'd almost done that, , to an extent that that was when I started to like look internally and think, Hmm, how much of this is like for show and for validation, and how much is it for my real Deep soul's purpose?

Really?

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Can you dive a little bit deeper?

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And I feel like my school schooling was fine, you know, in terms of like, your kids will be kids type of thing, but it was more like the outside of school. So like random people would just like shout abuse from their windows and like things like that of their car and you know, just rubbish things. And I feel like naturally I adopted a very toxic, masculine energy, but not only from my external world was very much like that and had to defend myself. Like a big and a big point on that as well is that I was just, I'm just one of these people that I just feel like things stop with me. You know? Like I would never want someone to say the same thing to someone else and keep that continuation going because I didn't say anything so naturally I'd be like, Who are you talking to?

Or do you wanna say that again? Like, and I feel like maybe my accent as well makes it sound a lot more intimidating, but I've definitely had that intimidating way about me because of this toxic, masculine energy. But, you know, inside of my home as well, like, I had a very volatile household. Like one of my parents was an addict.

And then the only way they would communicate was through shouting if you wanted to be heard, you had to shout back. Obviously the physical abuse side of things was there as well. and then that led to two very emotionally unavailable parents. So naturally, as the oldest sibling, I stepped up to be the parent of the household.

So not only was I parenting my siblings, I was also parenting my parents. And it's only as I've gotten older and I've done that deep dive, you know, in the pandemic that this all came to the light to me. Cause I didn't realize, I knew that. , obviously, I, I had a lot of responsibility and a lot of people were saying, oh, you're so wise beyond your years and all that stuff, and you just, and at the time I took it as a compliment.

Now I'm like, that's not a compliment guys. That is not a compliment. I didn't have a childhood. Okay. Like, let me

live

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So, you know, it's always gonna be things that come up and I own it, and I think that's a very big part of it. So, yeah,

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And yeah, it was just not for any linked reasons at all. And then my parent that was the addict, he passed away. So that was a real big shift in everything in my life. But then again, more reasons to armor up. So, you know, like when you go to funerals, people feel they need to say to you, I'll be strong for your family.

So I'm like, okay, cool. , I'm just here being strong for everyone, you know. So layering up more armor, more armor, more armor. So you add that armor into, from the childhood, from society and their expectations of, you know, like race and all of that stuff. Colorism also being a very loud and bold female, obviously you get deemed all of those things, you know, when you're being assertive, that you are being aggressive and all of that stuff, you know, and especially being a woman of color, that's just like a

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It made me feel validated. And that was, yeah, obviously super toxic, which I'm aware of. But then, you know, like. , all of this, even in the dance industry, you know, when I came out as a dancer and I was fighting to get the jobs and , not feeling seen and hurt again. More armor. More armor to the point where, like I said, I lived in burnout and everything just became a little bit too heavy to carry.

And then when the pandemic hit, I had no choice but to look at this head on because I didn't realize, but as a trauma response, I was keeping myself busy so I didn't have to feel, and that's, yeah, that's the thing, isn't it? That's the light bulb by a minute, we, yeah. And when we look back and we're like, I see you.

I see old version of you. I know what you were doing. But it's funny because now obviously I can identify it, but also within the pandemic, I had my satin return. So I don't have anyone's into astrology or

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To the

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So I just wanna validate that and , we see you, and we've been there

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ve said this year I was like,: 2023

And that's been real, something that I've been trying to adopt for the last two years, since that. And,

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Your best timeline really is kind of the best way I can describe it. So it's a lot of really and truly, it links a lot to the work I do now, which is all about unlearning and I would say breaking open. So Saturn return broke me open into pieces and it was, but it was the ego, the ego self, a hundred percent like spiritual awakening moment to the point where my family home that I've lived in for 29 years, I fell down the stairs and.

That was the universe's way of saying to me, open up, because from that, I cried for like 20 minutes now. I'm a person that hasn't cried for a very long time. Openly, I cried like behind closed doors. I, I was one of those people. And, yeah, I just cried for a solid 20 minutes and that was like me acknowledging, I was like, okay, I'm ready to do this now.

And that was the shift of energy that I needed to do, dive into the work. And a lot of that is because, , obviously in the pandemic there. As a dancer, what do you do? So I thought, right, I'm gonna go back into education. So I did my master's in that time and the research I was looking into, I wanted to really specialize in female empowerment, which I did, which was amazing.

But, the research I did was looking into how dance has helped as an intervention to, trauma. Funny enough. So subliminally didn't realize that was what I was doing. And it came up with, a lot of the case studies I was looking into. I was thinking, hm. , that's a bit familiar. Or Oh, okay. What does that sound like?

That's something I know, or I feel, and then I did this exam, I dunno if you have it in the US, but it's called ACEs and it's Adverse Childhood Experiences. And it's the test that you fill out and, I scored an eight out of 10, 10 being the worst. And I was like, okay. So yep, we've got severe childhood trauma.

And then that was obviously the deep dive then. Cause from that point on, I started diving into what it all meant. And I feel like, even though I've been a dancer, I very much enjoy learning. Like, I've always been consistently reading books, journaling. Like , I've always been quite holistic in my ways of like doing things, , like, even down.

you know what I put my body, I'm quite mindful. I've always been subconsciously quite mindful of all of that stuff. And, yeah, I guess that's the, the journey. And it was funny because I, my aunt, she's a foster carer. And she said to me in that time when this all came up, she said, the thing is Cherie, she was like, you've spent your whole life trying to be strong physically and mentally.

And , that's where , you've armored yourself up so much that , you're not only letting anyone in, but you're also not letting anything. and I was like, yeah. And, and that really was like shifting in my life. So the last couple of years have just been the journey of healing the l journey of self-discovery.

Lots of unlearning like narratives that I've believed for so long. And, you know, like I would really, I can say wholeheartedly that I'm definitely a cycle breaker in my family as well because, you know, from looking at my family now, I can still see relatives that are still following the same patterns that they.

Yeah, I guess societal narratives, but also within our lineage and all of this stuff. And I just, again, like I said about the bullying thing or the racism thing, I, I just am that person that everything stops with me. Like when I know it and I understand it, I can then dissect it and move through it. And I think, that's a big part of, yeah, like I said, the work I do now, and I think it's a really beautiful space to be in because I cannot tell you how heavy my life felt.

Like really, truly. . I used to have a pain and not in my stomach all the time, and I did breath work and that something shifted in my body. And I used to suffer from I b s. Now, not, I, I was unaware that IBS was linked to childhood trauma. But when obviously all of that connected and it shifted, I was like, wow.

This is just crazy that. Things can feel easy, and it was almost like I couldn't believe it, you know? Like I was like, wow, like this is not meant to feel hard. Like I'm not meant to feel like I'm pushing against everything my whole life. So yeah, it's been a really profound journey. It's been difficult, but.

I always say that uphill climb to the top of their mountain, the view from the top is so worth it. And obviously there's more mountains to climb in our lifetime. But yeah, from where I'm at right now, the piece that I have in my life is something that I didn't th think was attainable. I'd never knew that you could live like this in this space.

And that's why it's so powerful for me to do this work that I'm doing because I've been through it and I feel it and I understand it. And I think, you know, when you can resonate with people on that such deep level. . I think that's where beautiful transformation has a space to grow.

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We're gonna be just like rock stars

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And I think that feeling. . Again, that validation that I was searching for, but also knowing I've always had this inner knowing that I was meant for more, like more than , my time, my family, whatever it was. And I think when you are young, I think the idea of being a star is that thing. But obviously now I know it's so internal and deep, but you know, I've always been great at performing.

I'm not gonna take that away from myself, but that was the moment where I. I need to be on stage. I was like, I need to be on stage. I need to shine like Selena. And I think I've seen a person of color as well, you know, like in that environment. Yeah, I really identified just with her so much that I struggled to success in all of that.

And I think that was a real, yeah, that was definitely a life-changing moment for me.

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and we've been taught and become the lead characters of our own stories. Can you expand upon that?

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And I think, that again is a societal narrative from the masculine energy that has consumed the earth. You know, and I think as we, as I said, the rise of the feminine is, is proving that we are shifting that, which is beautiful. But I think because that's always been ingrained in us, even at schooling.

, women were always, from what, uh, when I was at school, it was always like, , you were to be a secretary or , like something to do with cooking or Haber Ashery, you know, it was never like, you could never be the c e o or you know, like you could never own your own company. That wasn't really pushed, you know, and I think that's something that is outdated.

Like, and I go into schools, I do a lot of workshops and things like that in schools. And it, for me, it's all about you. We can be whatever we wanna be. And I think we should be teaching children that as well. You know, in terms of like, you can reach the stars and you will get there, , and if you believe yourself then , the whole universe conspires in your favor.

And I, I do think I'm a living example of that because, you know, everything I've done in my life and been to, I have had to do on my own. Like I have had limited support in it. And don't get me wrong, there's been friends and family that have been by my side. , it's me doing the work. And it's almost like I've had to believe in myself so much that they start to believe in me.

It's never been like, , oh, I'm sure you'd be fine. Yeah, give it a go. It's never been that. It's like, I'm gonna do this thing. And they're like, are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna do it. They're like, okay. So it is almost like, you know, we have to be brave enough to, to just take , those layerings off.

Like, I think we, when we hear something over and over again, we, we believe it and we adopt. , and what I'm saying is just throw that away. I had, my family used to call me fat all the time. I was never fat, but my sister was so slim that I was always the fat one. So my whole life I believed I was fat.

And then I got to 23 and I was like, what? Well, I was like, why did I believe that? And I, I thought I was ugly. I thought all these things, and it was so deeply ingrained in my body and my soul about all these things that I'd. Clung onto, because that is what people said, so I should believe it. And then I got to a point, I was like, wow, I can really just unlearn all of that stuff.

Like I can really just take all of that off and I can just step through and be the main character. And , a massive part of that shift is retraining my subconscious mind. And, I was doing that just so oblivious to actually how much it was affecting my subconscious mind. I just did it as a thing because I thought it was a good idea and it was affirmations, you know, and.

Creating that, those of my own to repeat all the time. So my brain was like, okay, this is the new narrative now. And

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That's all what's keeping us, small and safe and having to rewrite that. So simple yet take so much discipline, it's possible.

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So it's very easy for me to pick up habits, like healthy habits because of that. Just having to go to class and having to do these things, having to stretch, having to move my body. So because it's been ingrained in me from such a young age, I find it quite easy to do that because I've always done it. Do you know what I mean?

So I think when you have been in a situation where you haven't had any discipline in your life, and I can use my sister as an example, cuz. 11 months apart, but the way we deal with things is completely different. And I would say, and she would openly say as well, that she hasn't done any of the healing work, but she finds it hard to stay consistent because she's never had a reason to be consistent.

Whereas dancers gave me that. So I, I take, you know, like I give dance that. Ute because I'm like, thank you for showing me that door. And that's why dance is still a, an important practice in my life because, it adds so much depth to other things. It's not just surface. In that respect, you know, is that you using it as a tool?

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But for me it's like, what life have you lived? Do you know what I mean? It's like all of that, all of that stuff.

So I'm not, not.

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Cause I feel like what happens is in our brain, it's like, a computer with loads of tabs open, it just goes into overdrive and it crash. So your brain needs something to release, a mental release, to let go of all of these things that are in your brain. It could even be down to like, if you don't like writing pen and paper, even though pen and paper is so powerful, you can write it on your phone or you can sound bored.

So, you know, going to therapy or talking to a friend or, you know, talking with. , anyone, even a voice note to yourself on your phone, that that equally just gets it out of your head and out of your body. Cuz then it's not clogging up that space and giving you that fog where you can't see clearly. I've lived there my whole life, you know, I, I'm an advocate for this.

I know it works. That's what I need to do. If I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm like, cool, we need to write this down. And actually I do tend to write pretty much every day in some form or format.

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write it down.

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And there's so many thoughts that keep circling in your head that you gotta just get it out to.

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So what happens is when we do a physical release, we shift that energy out of the block and then it dissipates and it can leave the body. So again, it's like this clog up of it's, it's blocking your pathways basically. And a physical release can be something as easy as going for a walk, especially a walk in nature.

You know, like, um, especially have interconnected, um, and there's like so much like telekinetic energy and all this beautiful things that absorb your frequencies if you are into that, you know? But you know, even just like moving your

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Um, Yeah, going to the gym, going to physical activity, running, anything that's gonna get your, um, and, and body to move. And if you are feeling super heavy, that means there's , more pressure in terms of the physicality that you are doing. So , if you are feeling like heart wrench and pain in your chest, Something big movement wise is gonna help you shift that and break that open.

But equally, if you're not able to, just a consistent amount of walking, you know, for a couple of days in a row, make a difference. I would just say start small. Like, um, you could write for three days and move your body for three days, for just three minutes. That would make a world of difference. I dunno why I said three, but it came out.

So there must be a connection there to

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And upon her request, I'm looking at what 3, 3, 3 means. And what it means is you are aligned with your angels.

Receiving 3, 3, 3 as an angel message is a cause for competence and peace. It means that you are aligned with your angels and you will reach your goals. You can be confident in your abilities and explore all possibilities open for you. Since 3, 3, 3 is linked to nine. If you add all the three together, it equals nine. This number contains similar vibrations.

Which promote spiritual growth and completion as well as opportunities to heal the world around you. Known as light work. With the amplified creative energies of three, you will be able to increase manifestation at this point in time. It is essential to maintain control and communicate clearly with those around you and contact your spirit guides.

3 3, 3 also maybe pointing you to an opportunity to learn from an ascended master. Like. Virgin Mary

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This is a quote. From my favorite book. Spiritual meanings of numbers.

how to embrace the synchronicities and angel numbers and achieve the magic of manifestation by bell Motley.

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shape. Is it white or is it colored? It looks colored. Your, your phone screen looks rainbow, but it looks yellow. Yeah.

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yellow.

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Everything's kind of circling in there and you just gotta, that's how I'm too, I have to get it out so I can stop thinking about

it, versus people who have the open head center, they have so many random ideas that it's also helpful to write it down so you can release it. Maybe it's for you. Maybe it's not for you.

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And I think that's the thing as well about sharing, which is really important. I think if you have a really nice, tight. Group of friends or family that just can support you and just sound bored. That's really important. And I think, um, bit of advice that I've been giving out lately, because people have been asking like, how do you know the difference?

How do you, you know, when do you give advice? When do you not? I think, um, ask people, or say what I need from the conversation before I start. So I might say to my friends, um, I really need to talk about something. I just need to vent. So you don't need to give me advice. It's just for me to let it out.

Um, helpful way because I think a lot of people, again, it's been pre-programmed in our minds to be fixers. We don't need to fix anyone. It's not our problem. We don't need to fix it. But equally, if someone says, can I have your advice? Then that's when you can offer your advice. So I think we have to be very specific on what it is we.

And that goes for all areas of my life, especially as people pleases and especially at empath, I feel like, you know, naturally we're just like, what could I do to help you? Can I fix everything? Can I take you in and nurture you? It's, it is all of these things, right? But my key here is, Nurture yourself first.

Love yourself first, and make sure you're investing that time and energy into your own space. Because, you know, I, I always say like we are the center of our whole universe. How we feel about ourselves internally is what is projected onto the outside. So, you know, it is all about, , if you're feeling this space here where you want to help someone and you wanna go above and beyond what you need to do, there's a sign there that something is disconnected for you.

You know, like, what is that bringing up? And that could be a childhood wound that could be. Something from relationship trauma that could even just be, you know, a bit of ego and it, and it's just, it is nice to identify what exactly it is because when we call something by its name, we take away its power.

So if it's something that is, um, affecting you. Like I always feel like, you know that when people are saying, oh, I've got a knot in my chest and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, I'm like, that's anxiety. And you know, like that's something when they know what it is, they're like, ah, okay, that makes sense.

But I think because , anxiety, depression, and all of these, um, states of being have so much complexity to them. They're not always easy to define, you know, but there's some sort of connection to it. And I think, we won't always know the answers, but I think when we can kind of have some inkling of what it is, , and, , I think naturally as women, but also men have disability, you know, feminine, masculine energy, all of that stuff, it's the, um, intuition and our gut will always tell us, you know, what's wrong, if something's not right, if something feels off, you know, and it's.

the more we tune into. , understanding how our minds processing things, feeling how our body feels. We will then intuitively feel what needs to be done. But sometimes I feel like I just need to breathe deeply for a little, for a few minutes, and I'm a massive meditator. Like I meditate for like I would say.

Probably 20 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes at night. Um, that. I don't time myself, like some nights I'll probably check my time before I go to bed and I've been sitting there for like an hour and a half and I'm like, wow. I didn't even realize, realize I was doing that. But I think that again is something you build up.

But from being in a place of toxic masculinity, constant force, constant burnout, I now know. It's so important for me to remain consistent and to remain disciplined because the way I feel right now in this comfortable state of, in my feminine energy, probably predominantly, I would say at harmony, you know, with my masculine energy.

I do not wanna experience what I used to feel like before. So the feeling of how I feel now keeps me consistent because I don't wanna go back to that. So it means being disciplined, it means, you know, setting my alarm that extra hour early because I need to do my morning routine. Um, and used to be a morning person at all.

And I don't get me wrong, I think compared to a lot of people, I'm still not a morning person, but I'm making more effort to be up earlier to do this because, um, I feel. It is worth it. But equally, if I wanted to be up later and do, do the routine an hour later, it wouldn't make a difference. You know?

But I think it's for my own self to feel like, you know, we have to, what can we work on? You know? I'm always that person, like, how can I be better? And I think that,

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So what I'm doing is taking these layers off and I help the participants build a solid foundation of self-worth, understanding self-knowledge, self-compassion, to build real, true, authentic self-love so that light can shine out so brightly and so unapologetically, and that'll lead you and set you up for the rest of your life in whatever you choose to do or be.

I have a few programs. I think at the time this will air, I would've just finished my first, , six week programs. But I will run that course again in the couple of, probably a couple of weeks or a month, couple of months time. So that'll be six weeks. And it's just, um, taking participants through the journey in a sister circle to get the support of the sisters.

Um, and have like one day intensives to work with me. And we do like a. Uncovering of lots of deep stuff and I'll give, um, for self love, obviously embedded within that. And then I'll have containers for three month clients that's, um, work with me on a one-to-one basis, and then also six months.

So if you are looking for real deep healing, or just looking for confidence building, but on a real, um, authentic level. That's the work that I do. It's not surface work with me. It's the real deep under the surface work that's, um, seen about, maybe you don't even realize there's blocks there, and we'll just uncover all of that stuff to get you to that rich good center that you deserve to be in.

I also have a journal available that I've made, so that is available for purchase as well. And that's about empowerment. And all of the things that I basically teach are all in this one workbook. And um, I send your listeners, I dunno how we'll do this now, but we'll figure it out. It'll either be a link or something like that and I'll send some journal prompts so people can get a taste of kind of, Doing a little bit of work in terms of journaling, so it'll work with some prompts that can kind of get people thinking and then that might inspire you to either get their journal or if you feel like you need some sessions with me, obviously that will be open too.

But the journal, you can just, um, the worksheet, you could do as many times as you need to forever. Even if you wanted to do it every day, there'd be, um, to that.

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of my greatest sayings that I use all the time is that you are the only you there is, and that is your superpower. So I feel like, you know, if, The more we understand ourselves, the more we know ourselves, the more we can stand in that true power.

And it's accepting ourselves fully and again, shining that beautiful light out to the world because I think everyone deserves to feel their most fullest, their most strongest, their most beautiful, their most powerful self. And um, really why I, I'm sharing my story and the hopes it helps someone.

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You're like, yes, that is it.

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sent it in a review. Be brave: 1992

She has some awesome guests on the show, too. It is for sure. Worth listening to, I appreciate that review and keep sending your reviews in, let me know any topics that you want to talk about. I believe with this particular listener actually , had the chance. In the DMS to ask her, what's the next human design you want to learn about? And she gave me her feedback, which you all can send your feedback in that we're gonna be talking about the centers.

So tune in tuesdays to catch all everything to learn about each of your centers in your chart

[: 00:43:12

That's free. You can grab that in the link in the show notes. Number two is move physical. You move your physical body, get moving, move all of that body to get those blocks removed. , number three is sharing with trustworthy friends, having a community and a group to help you, which you can join if you don't have anyone around.

The empath healing community, who doesn't understand being a survivor of narcissistic abuse. Number four is identify and name it. This takes a power away from that negative feeling.

[: 00:44:22

And remember, always key. You're you unique, light shining.

Losing time, I'll fade in fast. I just wanna make it last. Try to let go of the past. I close my eyes. Embrace the blast. Sleepless nights and headache stuff, restlessness to hell and back. What's my purpose? But do I grab a slippery resu surface, a heart attack? Sometimes you just gotta something that'll give you relief.

What we're broken. It's tragic. We're not all elastic, but maybe there's magic. Believe you could.