4 Ways to Decondition Your Subconscious Through Human Design After Narcissistic Abuse

16. Four Ways to Decondition Your Subconscious Through Human Design After Narcissistic Abuse

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This is season five

Episode 16. For ways to decondition your subconscious through human design after narcissistic abuse. Our deepest unconscious security needs are linked with repeating clusters of prior life and early childhood feelings and experiences. Mark Jones and his book healing, the soul Pluto, Uranus, and the lunar nodes.

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We are on day two in our 10 day narc free living challenge. How to overcome the pain of narcissistic abuse. If you haven't joined yet, you still have a chance to join and catch up on the action of what we're doing over there and healing in the portal. Just sign up in the link in the show notes. And just to give you a little preview of what I'm emailing you every day in the challenge I decided to share with you what I shared as the audio on day one.

So if you've already heard this and you're part of the challenge, this is just another reminder. And at an encouragement.

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And so let's get started. Today is day one, and first of course we've identified that we are dealing with a narcissist. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. And it's important that when experiencing narcissistic abuse, I just wanna affirm that it can and always is painful. It's traumatic, it's mind blowing, it's crazy making and all of the things.

So we just wanna affirm. And it does leave you with emotional scars that are difficult to overcome. And according to medical news today, gaslighting, which is what the narcissist does to you, to not take responsibility and to continually perpetuate the cycle of abuse, gaslighting does affect you in the long term.

It affects and gives you certain, it leads to anxiety, depression, isolation. and psychological trauma, and of course, it impacts all your decision makings and your brain chemistry because you're constantly in this fight or flight mode in your amygdala. So I'm gonna guide you through how to release that, how to recover from all of that, and to live narc free.

So let's first address that it's important and healthy to have. It's important to have the anger to be able to move you out of this abusive situation, to stop loving the person that is abusing you, and the anger is the conduit for you to move yourself out, get free, and then stay away and continue that.

No contact with a narcissist, and I will be referring to human design references throughout this as I interlay. Human design as a self-discovery and a tool to help you understand how unique you are and to gain clarity. and really to uncover the truth about you because the narcissist is always projecting and reflecting and doing all these things that are making you confused about who you truly are.

d was compiled and created in: 1984

So it involves the chakra system combined with astrology, combined with e Ching, combined with kabbala, uh, and the science of neutrinos. So essentially the science. Knowing that we are bodies of energy and there are five different types. So we have, you could be a certain type and then you, so when you do pull up your chart, which you can get for free at my human design chart.com or genetic matrix.com, it will share with you what your type is.

So there's five different types, which D determines your strategy and how. Flow through the world and how to take action. And then it also gives you your specific authority type, which is how you make the right decisions and know and lean into trust and your intuition. There's something called the definition, which is like how the energies flow in your chart, your profile, which another big one, people understand, you know, typically if someone knows their human design chart, they say, for example, I'm a six two sacral generator.

So it's your profile, your authority, and then your type. So your profile is something, there's um, six different lines, and you have a combination of two of the lines because it's based off of your personality when you were born, like your conscious personality, and then three months before you were born, your subconscious person.

So you have that profile, which there's the six types that, um, you can learn about in the community. You have your incarnation cross, which is called, this is essentially your soul's purpose. And depending on if you are making choices through your strategy, then you will have a not self theme. So if you're always frustrated or angry or resentful, that's just a sign that says, Hey, you.

Making decisions according to your strategy, get back in alignment. And then there's other really fun little information and tidbits about like your environment and your digestion and how you interact with the world. So that's just a brief overview and um, so I wanted to cover the brief overview today, and then as I talk about different topics in the next few days, which interlay and intertwine.

In your healing journey, this 10 step journey of how to overcome the pain, then you'll kind of get to know you. You know what I'm talking about. So today I'm gonna guide you through a exercise and actually it's the day after the full moon in Leo. And so really what the full Moon in Leo is asking all of us it is, is the matters of the heart.

A lion is big hearted and brave. And Leo's love to shine their light out to the. So I want you to ask yourself today, how do you wanna shine out into the world? How do you wanna be as your most authentic self? So that's step number one of our exercise. You can journal about that or just think about it as your day, move through your day.

And then this next one is Every full moon. The best way to release the anger and resentment and the pain. that is trapped inside your mind and your body from the abuser and from the situation and your childhood and all the things that flood you. They flood us the most and they get amplified around each full moon.

And so it's best to take that time and just write that down on a piece of paper with pencil. So this full moon ritual is something I've done for months and months over the years. Every single full moon, I will write how I'm feeling. I've had tears flood the paper as I'm writing. Just release all of that for a good seven minutes.

You're gonna write with a lead pencil cuz we're using all the elements of the energy. So we're using the earth element with lead the paper as well. And the thoughts are the air element and you're writing them all out. And then as you get all of that out, you don't even have to reread it. It does not have to be perfectly leg.

Now, a lot of times I'm just scribbling my thoughts down that I can barely reread, but it's out and it's through that lead pencil. And then your next step is to burn this, using the fire element, transmute it to the universe, surrender it to the divine to God. This is not your burden anymore. This is not your.

and you fully transmute it, changing the properties from paper, earth, and air your thoughts onto the paper through fire, back up into the air, up into the ethers. and it's really powerful. I, it sounds very magical, which of course it is kind of magical, but it is extremely powerful exercise to release whatever you're feeling at this moment.

And there might be multiple layers to your anger and each full moon, you just release another layer of the onion and another layer, and eventually all that anger and all that resentment. All of the pain you feel will be transmuted into something beautiful and will be transmuted into a lesson, into a purpose, and just surrendered up to the universe.

And then after this is the next important step is after you transmute it through the fire you go and you shower and you cleanse yourself using the magic of the water element with any residual energy or feelings about it. Just wash that. Can shower, soak in a bath with Epson salts and lavender essential oils.

Whatever you prefer. But it's important to finish off this ritual with the cleansing of the water, and it takes that energy 100% away, off of your body, outta your body, and outta your mind. So that's what I'm going to instruct you to do today. Take day one to practice the full moon release ritual anytime today that works best for your schedule, and I'll see you back here tomorrow and day two.

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Moving into our topic today of transforming yourself through deeper understanding of human design practices. You're going to follow these four methods. I'm explaining to you in a rerun episode, I shared a while back when I was sharing more about human design and I took a turn just to really focus and help those who are suffering from narcissistic abuse.

But I, you see now how this can merge so beautifully of allowing yourself to discover yourself and teaching you about your human design chart. Can give you that freedom and clarity that you so desire to gain your power back from the narcissist, because they're telling you who you are, and they're feeding you all these lies and you look outside the world and you think this is who I am, and this is how I should do things. This person said this, and this person said that.

But you have to hone in on who you are. Who are you uniquely? Each one of us has a unique energy blueprint. And that you find in your human design chart. Which I have been reading for quite some time and kind of. Hermiting myself, which is part of my human design and really mastering the skill so that I can come out and share with you.

Confidently that I can read your, your chart and your design and encourage you to live your best life to live your life aligned. With your purpose and your soul. And to make the right choices, like no knowing how to make the right choices. Aligned with your soul. That you won't regret and they will align you towards manifesting the life of your dreams away from the narcissist.

So in this episode I share with you. These four methods to help condition your subconscious mind. And to live a more authentically. Aligned life. And again, to manifest your dreams really away from the narcissist. So that further ado, let's dive into this episode that I recorded way back. And I think it's a gem that I wanted to reshare on the podcast.

And we're gonna talk about how to decondition yourself and rewire yourself with human design. So we are here talking about human design and before we get into it, I wanted to read to you a little bit of, , from a book.

Bought a while ago, and my Pluto has been activated, so I just picked it back up and it's called Healing the Soul, Pluto, Uranus, and Lunar Nose by Mark Jones. It's very in depth and kind of a hard astrological read, but I'm just gonna read to you this short little clip and oh, when I opened it last night, you guys, my, my grandma just passed away and the picture of her was here as the bookmark in.

So that was so special to me. Thank you, Mimi, for always being here. So the Pluto complex is to establish a foundation from which we can understand the entire birth chart. If you know this is astrologer, talking to astrologer, but you can also understand yours as well. Through Pluto, we can become aware of the central evolutionary concerns stemming from deep within the soul.

And it talks about how our subconscious, you know, the Pluto, relates to our deepest unconscious security needs. And as a result, those behaviors that we primarily or unconsciously, have default, we default to them under stress. We build a feeling of security on the foundation and of what is most familiar.

Those experiences we have occurred before. Our deepest unconscious security needs are linked with repeating clusters of prior life and early childhood feelings and experiences. For instance, if a person is raised by a cold and distant parents, their adult relationships might take on the same familiar form.

If this pattern repeats, the unconscious gets used to the pattern and will require a great amount of energy to change. And that's what I wanted to introduce to you today is the unconscious. What is that? We all know what it is. We all hear what it is, but it's the thing that's moving forward.

So the unconscious is what our habits are, and we can rewire them. We can actually rewire them with our brain through repetition. Tools to wake you up are, I'm gonna introduce you to them through human design. But there's a couple others, right?

We can use human design to wake us up. First to envision your life and habits you want. Second, to take discipline, actions, right? Virtues, things that you do daily in a disciplined practice to repeat, to rewire your brain and you're practicing over and over. And that's number three. All right, you guys.

I'm gonna show us the slide. And so what does that. That means that there are certain non-self types in your hu the human design. When we're living out of, our strategy of our type, when we're kind of out of the funk, when we're pushing through and our ego is getting in the way, right, we're starting to go back to our conditioned past the habits of old, the things that maybe we've been conditioned in c.

And just so you know, we all typically are conditioned to be like a manifestor. The type right? Like that Nike slogan. You see it just do it. , but we're, a lot of us are gonna hit a wall and we're gonna hit energy blocks when we're just doing, and we're initiating and we're pushing. Now, that's not to say that you should not do anything, right?

You wanna just follow the breadcrumbs, keep taking experimental next steps that may be right or wrong, but listen and observe and experiment to what are you responding to? If you're a generator, what are you being invited into if you're a projector? And we'll get into those in the next slides. So when you're not living according to those strategies, you're gonna find yourself being angry, being bitter, being frustrated, and full of resentment.

And so what we're gonna talk about first is rewiring a manifestor. And as much as the manifestor is. What we all are typically wired or conditioned to act like the initiator and to just do it and just to work really hard and manifest it all on our own, out of our own efforts. It's not so much the pushing that most of us can do, and the manifestor has such powerful energy that people are afraid of their energy.

And so typically they are told no a lot as a child. So they're conditioned that it's not safe to do this or that. That's too much, that's too big. That's just too scary. Have to resolve the fear of being controlled. So this is the rewiring, the manifest. And the work that you get to do as a manifestor and then realize that you are here to initiate and manifest and really what you want in life, and that that resistance is just part of the process as well.

Just like when we talk about getting outside your comfort zone and the fear being in your strategy doesn't always mean that it's gonna be sunshine and roses and cozy. You're gonna have adrenaline rushes, you're gonna have some fear you. Get outside of your comfort zone cuz that's where growth and progress is.

But as long as you're going a, according to your strategy and the manifestor strategy is to inform. So you are here to impact others. So make sure you're informing so you're not scaring people with just going forward and doing it straight, like a fast bullet train. So you are here, it's very powerful. No, you are here to impact others.

Now with the generator, . The rewiring here is, you are being taught and told to just do it right, but the generator's strategy is to wait to respond, take all those breadcrumbs and take the next steps into experimenting right or wrong, and just keep taking the breadcrumbs and following the. To where your, you know, your purpose, where your joy, where your fulfillment is, and where your soul's leading you.

So the hardest part for the generator is to let go of attachment and expectations. I, myself, and am a generator, I am 100% understand this and get that. So it's really, really hard. So you have to let go of those, attach. The conditioning of trying to be a manifestor. The habit of initiating instead of responding, you know, rewire and dissolve the habits of making decisions with the mind, the habit of relying on the mind and the intellect.

The suppression of awareness of the sacra response in the body. The habit of not noticing, overriding the sac response with your mental rationalizations, right? You're not listening to your gut and you're constant. Justifying and rationalizing and confusing yourself. Rewire the backlog of frustration from incorrectly initiated actions and rewire the habit of jumping ship instead of waiting for the metamorphosis.

So this is really important too. Let me go back to my slide, is that, knowing that it's when you get stuck in a certain place that metamorphosis is about to happen. So I'm guilty of jumping ship. And so push through that fear of nothing's gonna happen. This is all wasted energy for not, and don't jump ship because, because you're frustrated because it's not working and it's not, you know, the circle is not getting through the square hole.

Just give it some time, wait to respond for the next step, right or wrong. But to wait for that transformation. . You know, I learned about human design two years ago and I thought, oh no, this isn't for me. And I just kind of was frustrated that I was getting nowhere with it. But what I was doing as a generator was the whole process of learning, and I'm still learning.

I'm not an expert, but I know more than a few of you. So it's like this constant learning of to master things of the mastery. That's it. That's what we need to do is be patient as generators to wait to respond for that evolution and the metamorphosis to occur. Let me see if there's anything else to add to that.

Before I move on, cuz most of us are generators, so I wanna make sure I hang out a bit of time on this. So it's important in resolving the unresolved frustration is to. Just reevaluate what, what am I doing? Am I pushing, am I pushing too hard? Am I forcing something that shouldn't be happening? Or am I waiting to respond?

Am I waiting to receive some type of, event or something to do a work project to respond to? And then at the core, you need to resolve the disappointment. Of not being a manifestor. You're here designed not to be a manifestor. You're here to be patient and to wait. But you know all of those detailed steps to do in the middle that maybe a manifestor will come your way and delegate, Hey, can you join my project?

I have this really huge vision and you know, all of the steps to help the manifestor get there in the middle, especially if you have your defined head, you see the full vision and the full picture. . Yeah. And so this is important to unplug from generator, the habit of rationalizing mental decisions, the habit of initiating, and the habit of jumping ship instead of waiting for metamorphosis.

Possibly maybe the habit of initiating and the waiting to respond. I can try and give you a better example of that. And generator, wait for clarity of knowing before taking action.

So, it's important to tune into either your solar plexus if it's defined or your sac. and just allow the metamorphosis wait for the metamorphosis to happen. Yeah. So this, this will help you experience your, your essential nature. Yes. Any questions? Let me check if there's questions before I move on. No questions.

So the next slide is the manifesting Generat. This, again, you have, it's very, gonna be very similar to the generator, but with a little bit more of complexity because you, just as a generator need to be patient. You suffer from being impatient and aggressive, like you get really angry and frustrated, you know, in your life through your inability to wait and respond to your sacral sounds.

And patience is the form of action. I want you to affirm to yourself that patience is the form of action. So for you finding work that you love with the ability to demonstrate your gift for efficiency, you know how to find those shortcuts, so use your efficiency. and just do what you love while waiting to respond.

And the goal with the manifestor is to accept that waiting and responding is the best for you. And then to learn patience and to rewire any underlying cause for impatience. So let's take a look at maybe some underlying causes for impatience. So I'm just going to my other notes here. Pure generator. We just did pure generator.

Yes. Conditioning of trying to be a manifestor all been, it's gonna be very similar. So you, you know, as a manifesting generator, you'll always try to initiate and manifest, and when you meet resistance, you will typically just keep pushing through and smashing through again and again. But it will lead to damaging your body and even.

Being, exhausted, run down ill health burnout. So you, you may suffer from, like I said, both being impatient and aggressive. So it's important to wait for your sacral sounds. What are sacral sounds? It's asking yourself yes or no questions, you know, yes, do I, do I want to move forward and experiment with this next step and follow on this project.

Is it a mm-hmm. as a yes or mm-hmm No. Or a hmm. You know, there your purpose in life is to find work that you truly love. And that's really important cuz what lights you up is what's going to allow you to respond to different things. Manifesting, you know, as a manifesting generator, you don't want to hear that.

You need to wait, like literally that is torture. That is the last thing that you want to hear. But, typically you need to do so, and it's very difficult and challenging for you to slow down long enough to wait until listen to yours response. So there's a tremendous amount of suppressed anger, which can be developed over time with dealing with resistance that they create things just never move fast enough.

Does it sound familiar? , you need to learn the value in waiting to respond and developing patience. I feel like I've said that like 10 times already, but I think it's important to really accept and to hear. The key difference between a pure generator and a manifesting generator is that the manifesting generator does have a circuit connection between a motor and the throat.

And because of this, they do not go through stages of frustration and perfection. , like the peer generator may and does rather they get frustrated and angry when things don't happen their way or fast enough. So the goal with a manifesting generator is to get you manifesting generator to accept that waiting and responding is best for you.

Right? And then to learn to practice patience. So rewire any underlying. Of what's keeping you from being patient. So go to the root. Every time you feel impatient, ask yourself the right questions. Ask yourself why? Why am I being impatient about this? Why does it need to happen now versus having a long game or an end goal of when this is gonna happen?

So this is really good to ask the right questions so you don't get stuck in your impatience. . So if your solar plexus is defined, then you're gonna be waiting out and listening to your emotional authority. So you wanna make sure you're not being impulsive when you're in your high of your emotions and you wanna wait for clarity through the whole cycle.

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And then you'll get your yes or no in that clarity time. , so the projector in rewiring you, you may become bitter and resentful as you end up having to compromise, because here's the complex part of the gen, the projector is. With all types that are not manifestors projectors also try to manifest or initiate.

That's just part of the culture that we're conditioned as as kids. And upon meeting resistance, you become bitter and resentful cuz you end up having to compromise. And you don't have an, you're not, you're a non-energy type. I'm not gonna say you don't have energy cause you do. But as a non-energy defined type, you don't have consistent access to.

So there, and there's no motor to the throat and there's no sacral definition. So you often find yourself as a projector exhausted. You're always trying to be seen by people who simply do not recognize your ability to guide. That's the major frustration that I've heard is you get so focused on the people that don't recognize you and you just latch on so tight, but you need to let.

And wait for the invitation from the proper people. You are here projectors as a guide. You are here as a guide. And so it's important to know that, and it's important to wait for those who recognize you. So the not self behavior, or let's say your ego is to try and get seen or re. , but you have the probing aura.

It's not hard to do when you're being and glowing from within your own unique true self. So you have to learn to let go and allow the recognition to come to you, and it does not work for you if you pursue it. And when you try to get recognized, you'll meet literally nothing but . resistence. . And yeah, you, you have felt not seen in your lives and have become really bitter because of this.

So for you projector, you are very sensitive to the other. This is important too because your, typically, your identity center is open, so you're, the identity is like the ego, the self-esteem, self-identity, of others. You amplify. So you're very sensitive to others and are mostly focused on the other.

And this is fine except for when they interfere without being invited. Like let's say you're interfering with them, you're like, Hey, I have this great idea. You should do this this way. Or I'm sensing that you're feeling this. I have some advice for you. But if you just plow through without actually waiting for the invitation, a person's gonna be really mad at you.

You're gonna hit a lot of resistance. Get into. And, they don't wanna hear it because they're not, they haven't invited you. The energy is not right. So again, you're here to understand the other person. So it's normal for you to be focused on the other through understanding the other. You can understand yourself.

So if your motivation for taking care of the other is so that you will get recogni. or get recognized that you are worthy, that you're loved, then you will just simply become bitter because it won't be reciprocated. Another area for the projector to resolve is compromised. So you tend to have an attitude that you will not get the life that you really want.

So you compromise in your relationships and your jobs by settling, unsettling is a huge problem for project. . So projectors you need to rewire for trusting that you will get recognized and invited. When the time is right, you will stop looking outside for validation and recognition. You will stop trying to attract attention that you will, you know, rewire yourself for not offering suggestions or opinions unless invited.

It's such a hard one. I know , rewire yourself to trust that the right relationship, job, or life will be offered to you at the correct timing and projectors. You need to rewire yourself to know and trust that you do not have to settle or compromise.

So all of those things are very important. , very important. I'm just looking through my notes. Now reflectors, reflectors again are small percentages. You can become the most lost of all the types because all of your nine centers are open and you can be left feeling disappointed with.

and woefully dejected by the resistance they that you meet in trying to initiate or manifest. Right? Again, initiating and manifesting is something we all just wanna do, especially with this whole manifestation talk. Just see it, believe it, and dream it and do. It's important for us all to know that you can't just sit back and have the universe bring stuff to us.

It's a really, it's just a very tricky. I was just listening to a podcast Human design podcast today talking about you need to keep taking the right steps. Again, if you're a generator, take the breadcrumbs and follow. Do the things, make mistakes, learn from your mistakes, and just keep trying. But that's when we get stuck in our victim cycles.

It's when we get stuck in our unconscious cycles that keep us in our comfort zone or keep us holding back, or all of these things I'm talking about in each. That's when it gets really, really tricky and we, we cannot just push through and manifest. So for you as a, a reflector, your potential is to reflect everything around you with perfect equanimity.

But this, you mean this is the potential to be a beautiful spiritual guru here. Balanced of course, in reality. So what happens is you feel disappointed with others. . And then instead of being the hub of the community, which the reflector is supposed to be, you often end up feeling left out and you have to endure constant identification with other people's emotions and stress and anxiety because your centers are amplifying other centers.

So the reflectors, you're not vulnerable because your sensors are all open. You actually are more resilient because you're amplifying. Understanding all the other people's energies. The undefined centers are not a handicap if you are operating correctly. In fact, the open centers can be the deepest windows of wisdom.

Again, if you're experimenting and you're not over-identifying with them, understanding they're not all your own, if the reflector knows that, that you're designed clearly. Then you're absolutely protected from identifying with anything at all. So because your chemistry magnifies everything in everyone, you have the potential to see everything that is really happening in a way that no one else can, which is pretty cool.

The filter, you filter the general consciousness field, the role of the reflector is to be one with totality. Their, their, your greatest gift is to read others. You have the opportunity for a mystical life that most of us cannot even know, and you have a special connection with a moon in a way that you represent the moon on earth with your strategy of wait 28 days.

So much depth there, so much depth. If you have questions, . I hope this has helped. So what you need to do, your fears, you know, so let's talk about the reflectors fears, cuz that plays into your not self acting in your subconscious, staying in your comfort zone.

Is, can I be myself? Who am I? You know, you're worrying about having a fixed identity and all the worries and fear from all nine open centers and the fear of being invisible. So what you need to do is become comfortable with the lack of fixedness in your design. You need to flow and change with the cycle of the moon and with the auras of those around you.

It is key for a reflector to reflect their truth rather than the pain of others, and you can be very distracted with all those open centers or develop the potential for great wisdom. . You get to choose either way. Okay? So yes, be judgemental looking for yourself or you are not. Yes, it's important to not resist change.

It's important to not look for yourself or you are not, it's important for you to not be judgmental. It's feeling things fully, and of course for all of us types to not force an. So the ultimate energy for each. So if you are a manifestor, you may be beginning to remember the fire that burns deep within you.

The fire that you have probably allowed so many people to dampen. If you are a generator or a manifesting generator, you may feel completely liberated to learn what you have always suspected about your. That you are not designed to be a go-getter, and as you relax, things happen more smoothly. If you are a projector, you may feel a sense of relief that you do not have to do anything in order to get the recognition that you know you deserve, that you have only to wait and your invitation will come.

And as a reflector, if you are a reflector, you may have finally underst. Why you feel so different from everyone around you, and you may well be excited to learn more about your extraordinary design. So that is the reconditioning of your open centers and your not really more of your not self themed.

And that is the conclusion. Of the four ways. You can, decondition your subconscious mind. Number one by waking up and knowing your human design chart. Number two is repetition. Number three is envisioning your life. And number four is disciplined actions that you take every day. Of your highest virtues of discernment and love.

Peace and calm. If you want to learn more about human design. I'll be uploading it into the library and the empath healing. Community.

Yeah, library portal.

And you can visit that too. Join. In the link in the show notes. I have. Everything hosted on my website. And then we hold discussions on the Patrion and as well as live events, we meet once a month. Or that spiritual healing that you need for that. Hand pull you out of your crazy feelings cycle. And we are here to lift each other up.

Make sure that you rate and review this podcast. If you really enjoyed it, take a screenshot, share it on your socials. Reach out to me. The link that's in the show notes goes directly to the landing page of this episode. So you can leave a comment at the very bottom of the blog page, or you can DM me on Instagram at Raven Scott show.

So many great ways to connect with you. And I really appreciate you listening had a beautiful day. And remember, always keep your unique light shining.